Why “Just Do It” Doesn’t Always Stick: How to Overcome Delayed Self-Improvement and Grow in Grace
When November arrives, we know the holidays make the year go by even quicker, and soon enough, New Year's will be here. How did we do with our resolutions in 2024? Many of us may find that we set quite ambitious goals that were not achieved, or we didn’t even bother to set any goals at all. We may feel the need for a fresh start. “I’ll start tomorrow” or “next week,” we might say. Whether it’s improving health, nurturing relationships, or deepening our prayer life, we often start strong. But within weeks, motivation fades, and we slip back into old patterns. Why do we struggle to make lasting changes, even when we genuinely want to grow?
For many of us, the solution goes beyond the “just do it” mentality. Creating meaningful change requires a deeper understanding of ourselves, leveraging our strengths, and cooperating with God’s grace to help us. Why do we delay personal growth?
Comfort Mindset
Our brains naturally lean toward what’s familiar, comfortable, and safe, even if it isn’t the best choice. We’re drawn to routines that minimize effort and help us avoid discomfort. This "comfort mindset" can make it challenging to embrace new habits or pursue growth, whether it’s spiritual, physical, or emotional.
Our minds are also designed to adapt and grow through new experiences and challenges. The truth is, growth requires resistance. Just as muscles are strengthened through physical exercise, our mind and spirit need to be stretched to truly thrive. We often avoid that resistance, though, unless we learn how to cooperate with our natural design in God and His grace.
The Role of Self-Knowledge in Making Lasting Changes
Real transformation begins with self-knowledge. St. Teresa of Avila says, “However high a state the soul may have attained, self-knowledge is incumbent upon it.” She believed that self-knowledge is essential for spiritual growth. In her work, The Interior Castle, she states that understanding oneself is crucial for entering into a deeper relationship with God. She suggested that self-knowledge helps individuals recognize their strengths and weaknesses, allowing them to grow in virtue. It helps us grow in humility, knowing that we are limited without God.
In the same way, knowing how we’re wired—what motivates us, how we respond to challenges, and where our strengths lie—can help us not only know God more deeply but also understand how we are to move and have our being. The transformation almost feels effortless when who we are is rooted and grounded in who made us. It is hard work to begin, just like physical fitness, but once it becomes part of your rhythm, it becomes an automatic part of how you function.
Grace Transforms Self-Improvement
Even when we understand our strengths and motivations, self-improvement still isn’t entirely within our control. There are times when we need to lean on God’s grace to help us move forward. God invites us into a process where He provides the strength we lack, helping us accomplish tasks that may seem impossible.
For example, Immaculée Ilibagiza, a Rwandan genocide survivor, shared a profound piece of advice: If you find it difficult to pray, ask for the grace to pray. This approach shifts our mindset from self-reliance to trusting in God’s provision. We must still take action, but it is God’s grace that transforms our efforts into lasting change.
I recall one night when I had trouble sleeping. I tried reading, praying the rosary, and journaling—activities I had intended to do more regularly but often neglected. That sleepless night became an unexpected opportunity to embrace the very habits I’d been struggling to establish. God often presents these moments as opportunities to do what we ask for grace to accomplish.
Practical Strategies to Create Sustainable Habits
To establish habits that stick, we need to understand our strengths and weaknesses, invite God into the process, and create environments that foster growth. Here’s how you can start:
Identify and Leverage Your Strengths
Use assessments like CliftonStrengths and The Motivation Code to understand your natural tendencies. For example, if you’re strong in "Strategic," you can approach goals by mapping out multiple paths to success. If "Responsibility" is a top strength, consider setting external accountability to help you stay committed.
Start Small with Micro-Habits
Break down your goals into small, manageable steps. If you want to pray daily, start with five minutes of meditation. If you’re trying to exercise regularly, begin with a 10-minute walk. Small wins help build momentum.
Ask for Daily Grace
At the start of each day, pray for the grace to meet your specific challenges. "Lord, grant me the grace to make time for rest today" or "Help me seek Your presence in moments of stress." By inviting God into your goals, you tap into strength beyond your own.
Set Up a Supportive Environment
Make simple changes to your environment that make good habits easier. Keep workout gear in a visible place, create a prayer corner in your home, or remove distractions from your workspace.
Embrace Rest as Part of Your Rhythm
Incorporate rest into your weekly routine as a form of worship and renewal. Plan a weekly Sabbath or schedule daily pauses to reconnect with God.
Surround Yourself with Encouraging People
Who are your safe, Christ-centered friendships and communities? Who can be your accountability partner? You might also consider connecting with a coach who can support you on your journey. Community is a powerful factor in sustaining motivation and growth.
A Graceful Approach to Sustainable Growth
The “just do it” mentality assumes that motivation is entirely within our control. But in reality, lasting change requires more than willpower; it demands grace and self-knowledge. By understanding our strengths, setting clear intentions, and inviting God into our journey, we can create habits that truly last.
You don’t have to wait until the New Year begins again. Start today and choose to live the fullness of your identity. Lean on God’s strength and wisdom, recognize the gifts He’s given you, and trust that even small, consistent efforts will be transformed into meaningful change. With Him, we can work smarter, grow in our unique callings, and thrive in the areas that matter most.
question to ponder
Pope Benedict XVI said, “The world offers you comfort, but you were not made for comfort; you were made for greatness.”
Where in my life am I resisting growth because it's uncomfortable, and how can I invite God's grace to help me toward greatness?
Coaching Testimonial:
“Roxsan is definitely a beautiful soul to walk with on my own journey to personal discovery and wholeness. Over the past several months, she has helped me identify areas in my life that require stretching, while gently challenging me to reflect on the barriers to growth and healing. Roxsan’s approach is inspiring me to communicate not only with myself but also with my family as we navigate through life together, making tough decisions and moving towards a healthier mindset and lifestyle. I’m so grateful for her work, and I know so many others will benefit because of her commitment to honor each person’s identity as a child of God.”
